Highlight of the week

It comes to something when the highlight of your week is a toss-up between seeing a dog at the local tea shop, and listening to your lecturer sing about adultery and murder.

The student life isn't the glamorous party that it claims to be. The hype from past students is enough to make any freshers excited. Everyone you speak to has tales of the amazing parties they attended and the lifelong friends they made. There’s always a funny tale of someone falling over in the club, a wardrobe malfunction or some other form of drunken mistake. But when you get to university you realize it was all lies. The clubs are small and dimly lit, and any sober person would deem them too unsanitary for use. There always crammed full with far too many people and the music is too loud.

Instead most of the time at university is spent napping, managing to over boil pasta and watching Netflix instead of doing your work. Granted there is the occasional party that you think will be awesome. But in reality, you spend hours getting ready, eventually make it to the club and then end up stumbling home three hours later looking like you've survived the zombie apocalypse. You wake up the next morning sick as a dog, end up crying over your bank balance, curled up in pain and solemnly swearing never to drink again. You promise to avoid kens chicken for life after reading online reviews, and you convince yourself that the sickness your experiencing is nothing to do with the quantities of alcohol you drank, and is in fact food poisoning. Highly unlikely but nicer to believe. Your convinced that your committed to this new sober life. Until next Friday that is, when your course mates coax you out to pre- drinks that turn into a weekend bender. Because you just can’t miss the steps reunion at tiger tiger, or the paint party at pop world. The paint party leaves you slimy and sticky and the following morning its operation clean up before you can proceed with standard hangover activities.

When Monday morning rolls round you end flipping a coin to decide whether to get bread or milk with the meager change that's left of your weekly budget.

Still, it'll all be worth it in three years’ time when you land your dream job with a high paid salary and the crippling debt disappears. Right? The plan seems faultless. The only thing in the way is actually completing the degree in between all the parties and general student mayhem.